So anyone in my family would know I’m basically a boarder line hoarder. I keep EVERYTHING!! And have always been like this, I have letters mum would leave in my pj pants on my bed from when I was like 5, I still have all my primary school work and portfolios, sticker collections, posters of bands I don’t even like anymore, stickers of horses and ponies and shit, I have cassette tapes from 1990’s happy meals, I have msn conversations and text messages over 5 years old, I won’t throw any old phones out, I keep EVERYTHING!!! Train tickets, drawings, party invites, festival tickets, wristbands, everything I seriously keep everything in folders and boxes, those cards you get from shops that get stamped even if I will never go there again or they’re expired, I won’t delete mobile numbers (except when I’m happy to delete certain idiots out of my life, that’s easy) or photos. I still have my myspace. But yesterday I just decided to delete everything. Deleted him, deleted his number and any number associated with him, deleted every single message from anyone in my phone (such a huge thing for me especially for one person) slowly deleting everything off facebook and in the process of deleting myspace (forgot my god damn password) wiped my computers memory and chucking out everything in my wardrobe. 3 people that have had a huge impact on my teenage years have been deleted and gone. Starting fresh. 

And some will say its a mental disease,
Well I just pray that I can make it to the end of the week,
Its like I’ll only find happiness when I’m dead or asleep,
They say in time it’ll get better for me, but it forever repeats
Its like i’m on the search to find my inner peace,
And the fact I know its never there is killing me,
Cause ill be honest i’m trying to make it work,
Its all that I can think about but it’s likely to make it worse and it hurts.

Am I positive, no, I just wanted to go, 
Its like I’m trapped in my mind and I’m not letting go,
They try to help me but I wont let them touch me,
The only thing that ever seems to excite me is the thought of leaving this life,

I don’t think this world and this earth’s what I need,
and I don’t think this place is for a person like me,
Is that really such a bad thing?
And people always point fingers but really don’t understand him,
I need to chill I wanna leave here, serious I’m being real I don’t wanna be here,
Period.

Hey yo fuck it my life I hate it,
99% of my life’s dealt with anger,
See I just wanna get a shotty, go and end it properly,
Doing everybody and myself a favour,
And they say that your life’s what you make it, 
I didn’t ask for my own life, But I’ll take it.